仍然流淚

thought the tears dried, thought realized something crucial. thought I would be angry. Yet, the emotion is still churning.
is leaving the best cure? or that is just hidding into a secret place inside somewhere

So stunned after knowing some incidents accidentally, quite puzzled why didn't learn the lesson? why did it to me ? was it another accident or purpose? How should i review this?

is that the shortcoming? will i know the answer someday? how should i feel and react?
should i be angry? How can i look at myself being cheated again? why again.. why again in life...
dont' want to label you as cheater. Why God gives me these scenaros in these few years? what is this purpose of these 5 years?