yelling

the official "honeymoon" has finished. Today Borz yelled at me. Dear God, why am I doing this here? am i / did i really came out from one hell and going into the other?despite of working until mid-night days after days.. why do i get this shxt?
why do i sooooooo much hate people hurting me? i really can't stand the yelling..
i wish i could be angry with him too.. it was way toooooo hurt...
or am i just hopeless for my own forture? why why and why.....
thank You that i am not yet jealous for Ed and his wif... he' such my special special angel that i won't change my love for him. Heartfelt joy for him and his wif.....

have mercy on me, grant me a better sleep, a bigger step out from my cave.
i have nothing to say. i don't even have enough energy to review my emotion.

when will all this be finished? walking on the mtr platform, i thought that it would be safer to have relationship with myself, at least 98% of time i won't let myself down, i won't make myself shed tears..

i really want my happiness back... shedding tears is sooo painful when i see him doing fine....what were all that caring? what , what , what was I?